Fun from the Washington Post

The Washington Post published the 16 winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words.

The winning definitions are:

1. Coffee
(n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted
(adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained
3. Abdicate
(v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade
(v.), to attempt an explanation whilst drunk.
5. Willy-nilly
(adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent
(adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph
(v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle
(n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence
(n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash
(n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle
(n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude
(n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon
(n), a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster
(n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism
( n.), the belief that, when you die, your soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent
(n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.



17. and one from us........
Errogance - not only snooty but wrong

Thank you to my little sister for forwarding this to me!