Draining Advice

We have three toilets in our house. Two were sluggish. One was downright comatose.

And I was throwing a party. It was either call a plumber or rent a port-a-potty.

Enter Josh the Plumber.

He snaked our toilets and offered a bowlful of drain tips. Which I'm passing along to you.

1. NEVER use Charmin toilet paper. No matter how tempted you are. Even if it's hugely on sale. Even when they tell you it's ultra strong and ultra soft.

Apparently, Charmin' is more like a kissing cousin to paper towel (thick) than to other brands of toilet paper (thin).

2. When you pay your rent/mortgage (that is, once a month), dump 1 cup of bleach down each drain in your house. Let sit for 30 minutes, then pour down hot water.

3. For sluggish toilets in high-calcium areas (like San Diego), pour ten seconds' worth or 1/4 cup of CLR down the little white pipe thingie (yes, this is a professional plumber term) under the lid at the back of your toilet. Let sit for 30 minutes, then flush.

4. For kids' parties, remove paper towel and Kleenex from the bathroom.

5. For kids' parties, only put out single ply toilet paper.

6. Hold kids' parties at Chuck E. Cheez or at a local park. (Kidding. This wasn't part of his advice.)

And that, my dear friends, is a little (probably unexpected) practical advice from my corner of the world.