Book Review by Mr. Peter Magee!

The Calling, a mystery by Inger Ash Wolfe, was released in hardback last month. This book got a lot of buzz due to the mystery surrounding the author's identity. It was common knowledge that Inger Ash Wolfe was a pseudonym for a North American literary writer. Possibilities that have been bandied about include Jane Urquart (A Map of Glass), Michael Redhill (Consolation), Linda Spalding (Who Named the Knife). A little bit of literary trivia which has nothing to do with The Calling: Linda Spalding is married to Michael Ondaatje (The English Patient)

The Calling's protagonist is Detective Inspector Hazel Micallef, an almost senior citizen addict (alcohol and prescription drugs), who lives in Port Dundas, a small rural Ontario town. Against difficult odds (little support from her superiors, impending back surgery, an overbearing mother, a messy divorce), Micallef attempts to catch a serial killer who targets the elderly and the ill.

I actually haven't read this book yet. Although it is the type of oddball mystery that catches my eye.



However, my former English teacher, Mr. Peter Magee did read and review The Calling for us.





Ah, the good old days, although this time I was the bossy boss in charge of the assignment and got to give deadlines and make rules like, "Please stick to about 500 words." This role reversal thing was too fun!

Oh yeah, fair warning: there is a spoiler.

Take it away, Peter!

Inger Ash Wolfe, whoever you are, really are, I do not care.

The jacket of The Calling promises a “brilliant debut crime novel.” Sorry; this is not true.

If only there was one person with whom I could connect or even feel sorry for, it would not have taken me a month to read this book.

Detective Hazel Micallef has no redeeming qualities. She is an a overweight alcoholic controlled by her domineering ex-mayor of a mother. Micallef insists on bothering her ex-husband as he tries to start a new life with a new wife. In addition, Micallef irritates all her underlings. Why these characters rush to support her in her hour of need at the close of the story is something I’ll never in this world understand.

My other complaints include: The chapters are too long. There is no depth to the characters. And the plot twist where the serial killer begins his career as Simon, but ends up as Peter, Simon’s brother? Not interesting enough.

Halfway through the book, the writing heats up a little. There are several really well written scenes, especially with the young girl who eventually survives Simon/Peter.

I am sure that Margaret, David and Allen still love you, but I would shy away from having a book of this nature dedicated to me.

The most fun I had with The Calling was looking up the word “horripillating.”

I would advise the readers of this review to save their money and look the word up in OED*.

Sorry, Inger, but you will not learn your craft by testing me with another “Novel of Suspense.” Not in a genre that has been amply satisfied by such great mystery writers as James Patterson, Michael Connelly and Kathy Reichs.

*Oxford English Dictionary

Hmmm...I think he didn't like the book.

And, now, the all important question of how to sign off.

Peter, you could use our high school's motto: "Plough a straight furrow."

Hello, where exactly did THAT come from? I went to a suburban high school with, like, cars and streetlights and a PA system. There was no ploughing or farming or furrowing. Small wonder I'd totally forgotten our motto until Peter reminded me.

How about if you sign off with this:



Yes, indeedy, that it how you signed my yearbook all those many years ago. Little did you know, your message would day show up on a blog! It's blurry, but what a cool way to end the post. Thank you, Mr. Peter Magee, for the book review!

(For those of you having trouble with the yearbook autograph, it reads: Best Wishes and a nice life. Peter Magee)

Now...go ahead and look up "horripillating." You know you want to! (One "l" for American spelling)

Couric interviews Peter Magee

Hi peeps! We're back today with my amazing and inspirational high school teacher, Peter Magee. Interviewing him will be the slightly chubby, very white trashy and brash, Kelly Couric.

Yes, it is a little odd. I'm quite capable of conducting MY own interviews on My own blog with MY own high school teacher. But, whatever, Kelly got the gig, and I think we should all just be professional about this. So, I'm kicking back with a cup of hot Red Rose tea and a plate of Peek Freen biscuits, waiting to see how this pans out. Kelly's your basic reality-TV, screw-top-wine kind of gal. And she's interviewing my well-read, cultured English teacher. Should be interesting...




Thank you for that intro. Not. Anyway, Little Ms. Organized, what took you so long to get this post rolling today?




I was at a school assembly. Child #4 got an award for Student of the Month.





Aw, congrats to Child #4. You should buy her a pony or something. Okay. (claps) Let's get this show on the road. I have other things to do today, places to go, yada, yada, yada. I'm a busy Hollywood wannabe. Besides, people are at work and only have so much time to surf the blogosphere. So, Hi Peter Magee!




Hi Kelly. Thanks for interviewing me. Although from our phone conversation, I actually thought the interview was with Katie Couric.




Katie. Kelly. They sound pretty alike. Your bad. Although I totally understand how you'd get them mixed up.



(opens and closes mouth in surprise) Here. I brought you some flowers.



Flowers? Oh, how sweet. Let's give them to Barrie. FYI for the next time, I'm partial to those little bottles of alcohol you get on airplanes. Gin, vodka, rum ... I'm not picky. So, Peter, where'd you grow up?



London, Ontario. I went to the University of Western Ontario there too.




Is that near Buckingham Palace?




Uh, no. London, Ontario, Canada. It's about 120 miles southwest of Toronto. Halfway between Toronto and Detroit, if you will.




Toronto? Detroit? North America, right? Moving along. How many years were you a teacher?



Thirty-two!




Whoa, duuude! I haven't done anything consistently for 32 years. Well, except breathe. Ever teach anyone famous?



I attempted to teach public speaking to Alan Thicke.




(squeals) Alan Thicke? The hot dad from Growing Pains? Can you hook us up? He could really jump-start my career.




I'd like to answer a few questions from the list Barrie sent me. (rattles paper in the air) How about this one? Yes, I had a couple of favourite teachers. The late Miss Louise Wyatt was my grade 13 English teacher. She was David Suzuki's favourite teacher too. In case you don't know, David Suzuki is a well-known Canadian science broadcaster and environmentalist. My other favourite teacher was James Reaney, a famous Canadian poet and playwright who has won the prestigious literary Governor General's Award. I'm still in touch with James. I visit him in palliative care.




That's sad, but neat.





(looking at printed sheet of questions) The books I most enjoyed teaching were: Hamlet, A Streetcar Named Desire and Endgame.



You read entire books? I'm more of a magazine skimmer. Cosmo's pretty good. You ever teach from that?




(shakes head and continues with list of questions) I'll read any Canadian novel, and I also like autobiographies. I'd like to do a blog on Ostomies and their trials and tribulations.




Hey, I could do your blog interviews!




Oh, uh, maybe.




So, who would you rather have in your English class? Me or Barrie?




Kelly! I'm right here! And I have the power of the delete key. Peter, one last question: What's your favourite cookie?





Cookies made by David with Duncan Heinz cake mixes. Recipes available on request.



Thank you, thank you, Peter Magee. Great job with the interview. Against all odds, I might add. And especially thank you for all that you did for me in high school English. We're looking forward to the book review you wrote for this blog. :)